so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize