I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
