Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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