Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You're like the curious george of whores
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
