youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
