I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.