So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
