Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
