Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
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The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
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When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I love you.
Bad choice
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