TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
