i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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