can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Will exercising make me less horny?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
