im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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