The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just invented taco cereal.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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