i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
