WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
