I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
