im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
