If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I have demons in me.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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