did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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