We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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