only you would photoshop your dick
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He passed out mid-signature
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize