Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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