Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
