this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
