physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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