I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
