When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize