I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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