I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
