Got a toothbrush?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
