The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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