I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
