Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
