you turned your livingroom into a bong?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
