I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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