Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
