I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize