holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
