the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
