I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
