Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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