break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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