She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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