did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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