I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
