Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
they're like a gay fantastic four
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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