I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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