So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
