Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
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I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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