What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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