Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
