we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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