you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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