How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
