HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize