If that was your dad, he is hot
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
