Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
