Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
