If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
