me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
