me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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