Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
