There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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