Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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