What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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