dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
