im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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